Another dream about the living dead last night. There was another part of the dream but I cant remember it. But there was a room with a very ornate coffin in it. The doors were locked but people got in there anyway. It was a family. Someone got very upset because the coffin was supposed to be for the mother and a girl was in there (sort of As I Lay Dying-ish by Faulkner. Good book). I realized the whole family was actually dead, including me. I was then trying to be careful to wash my face (b/c I was decaying) and my teeth were falling out, so I pulled some out. There was talking going on around me and at some point there was a reference by a guy--a brother?--that some sexual relationships had occurred between him and a girl/me? there. (Many times I am part watching and part in the dream).

Ick. The ColOmbian just IMed me that rotting teeth can mean a warning that your health is in jeopardy. Hmmm.

Goodness. This verse keeps popping up and I like it: "Remember this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." 2 Corn 9:14

Again, God enables us to be stewards of his fruit. I can only give so much, for whatever reason--my own limitations, my circumstance, my sins--but God can give us the grace to rise to the occasion and give good things--whatever they are. God is ok with our limitations. Paul later describes it as an "indescribable gift." Yip.

I found a good definition for goodness for myself. Goodness is the consistent actions that creates restoration of health, healing, and balance. Something as simple as giving flowers to forgiveness and mercy to saying no with integrity is about an action that tries to instill healing, correct a wrong, uplift, restore.

The thing about goodness is that is changes form situation to situation. You need discernment to know what will restore in every situation. I'm seeing more and more that it's not about what you know as a Christian or even what you know is right, but the wisdom to know what to do with it. It goes back to gentleness and a comment Wise M said. I'm paraphrasing, cuz I can't remember exactly how she said it, but the gist is that it's not just about what the truth is or bringing the truth to someone's eyes, but it's how you do it. Sometimes telling the truth is more about making you feel better and right than about the other person. The discernment is to know, what is best for the situation? Who needs the healing here? Goodness utilizes the gentleness, patience, kindness, mercy, knowledge, love, you name it.

Last night's dream--I actually didn't remember it at first. It might have been the cold medicine. Now I can't sleep because I can't breathe and my throat feels like a saw's been at it. But two images. At some point, Wise M and I were talking and sliding down this huge convoluted slide. It was very high, and I was afraid of falling, but I tried to relax and enjoy it. Wise M went first and seemed to think it was fun. It was dark and cold outside, and the slide was made out of some strange material. Another image from the dream was a date in a coffee-type shop between Hugh Grant who didn't look like Hugh Grant and some woman. At one point the woman had her head down like she was sleeping and lifted it up and she had been crying. She dreamed about her husband and a baby that I think had died. She made a comment that Hugh probably didn't think much of this date since they were just friends. So I realized then it wasn't a date.

Things to note about traveling through Southern Minnesota: every "family restaurant" no matter what ethnic origin--Irish, Greek, Polish, German--has the same chicken noodle soup. Entering said restaurant between 2 and 3:30 means you are the youngest there. Yes, you are. Starbucks has not yet infiltrated small town America--and I am shocked to find I am sad for it. Nice housewives can work at gas stations, and they give you free coffee. You can be famous just by being unknown and walking into a school wearing striped knees socks from Target. When people ask, "Are you visiting?" they already know you are. What they really want to know is what you're doing there.

Goodness--the new fruit. Haven't read too much on it. The thesaurus has a hard time pinning it down. Virtue, friendliness, generosity, honesty, integrity, morality, nourishment (THAT is an interesting one), kindness, mercy. I am reminded of CS Lewis' dilemma--two men drowning and you can only save one. So you are good to one and not the other. Goodness can seem sort of objective. And is goodness in the intent or in the product? Can you do something good and it be taken badly, or do something and it turn out to be a good thing? Hmmm....