create your own personalized map of the USA
or write about it on the open travel guide
This is supposed to show up as a map of all the places i've been in the US. I'm quite proud. I worked over 90 hours for the summer program I run last week. The stress and busyness has purged me of most negative thinking and bodily reactions that I had most of the past year. I heard a comment, "Well, just work a lot and you'll feel better." That was about as good as the other comment I got when I described the week of dreams I had last months consisting of 2 executions, 2 suicides, and a rat attack: "Well, I know this seems like a cure all, but when I drink water I feel a lot better." No comment.
HIGHLY RECOMMEND Feeling Good by Dr. David Burns. Depression differs from sadness because it attacks your self worth, while sadness and suffering is the process of healing from a loss without it affecting your worth. I've been privately blogging about the thoughts I have surrounding past hurts, current desires, and all frustrations. I hate getting trapped inside my head. There is too much I want to see and do to constantly roll around up there with the same old shit.
There is a young woman who has only been around consistently the last four years or so--she is confident, funny, spontaneous, bouyant, and empathetic. The other girl--she has been around much longer--about 23 years or so. She is more persistent and lives in constant fear. She doubts her worth and abilities and can only live through approval of other people, though she even doubts that when she gets it. She calculates every step, every word and evalutates it according to the success of its approval. She decides what is good and bad going against these rules means utter devastation. She has a hard time breathing and sleeping. She can't stop thinking and so has a hard time thinking of others. Both females don't take very good care of themselves. They are not gentle with themselves. They don't know what they need most of the time. It's my job now to heal the girl and nuture the young woman and find a place for both of them in this one body.
