I'm going to ride out this fabulous mood, with its optimism and sense of well being, for as long as I can. I found out that I'm going to live out a dream of mine this week, but I can't say until it's official. My landlord has an overgrown, organic garden that displays new blooms every other week. I love August and September for the butterflies I see flying around whereever I go--on the U of M walking bridge, at Chipolte, and a whole family of them in the crazy garden in my front yard. I know its very 4th grade unicorn and ponies for me to like them, but they give me a sense of renewal and good fortune, which I think is unique for autumn since you are watching so many things die and hibernate. They fly with jagged energy but graciousness. I hope you find some good luck today too.

I wrote this last night, Labor Day:

Do you ever get surprised with feelings of unannounced anticipation? I spent the weekend sleeping and watching TV from a little virus and a long summer. I've been quiet and inside myself a bit. Nothing extraordinary has happened lately. Today I slept in, cleaned, read a book in the sun, went to a movie, and gave myself a haircut. But it's still there...waiting for the unexpected, like checking the mailbox for a letter in the mail that will tell me that I've won something.

I go through phases like this sometimes, or maybe I'm just caught up in the rhythm of the shcool year embedded in my brain and body--I lay low for a time, think my thoughts, watch the world around me go by, and then I get so excited, wanting to throw myself into it. Nothing there really to jump into. But that's what's exciting, just knowing there is something new to visit, an unopened present, a gasp just inside my throat I'm waiting to exhale.

I feel prepared, aware, comfortable in my skin. I have met myself again, at an end of summer BBQ, and it's been so long I've forgotten those things I delight in that I can't wait to reintroduce her to my friends. I don't know what is next . It's just Next and that's enough to get excited. Ever feel that way?